Friday, January 1, 2010


This is how I am coping on this day that is...well, this day. I am pretending that it is just another day. I am pretending that there is nothing special about today.

You can call me crazy, but I have it on good authority that I am not (MLC assures me of that very thing frequently). I just simply cannot cope with today any other way. I am taking a lesson from Scarlett O'Hara. I will indeed think about this another day. I don't want to think about it today. I probably won't think about it tomorrow or the next day either.

Kacie's birthday is Sunday. I have to focus on that. I have to get through that.

School will start back on Tuesday. I have to focus on that too. I have to get through that. I will miss having the kids company during the day. I had not realized how lonely I was during the days when I am home by myself. Even with their fighting, it's been nice having them home. I am ready to get back into a routine of sorts though. Nick and Kacie being home isn't routine, no matter how comforting it is to me.

So, my plan is to keep pretending or coping as best I can. It's working so far. I'm fairly certain that MLC will have plenty to say about the way I have chosen to get through this extremely difficult time of year. Until I speak with him, I am going along with what works.

Kacie's tummy issues didn't last all night last night. She felt crummy most of the night though. She went straight to bed once we got home and stayed there. I was able to fall asleep before the clock turned over to midnight. Kacie has eaten pretty normally today and has been fine. I am exhausted. I didn't sleep very well listening for her during the night. I am hoping tonight will be much better.

I am just simply falling into the arms of God and letting Him take care of me. I can't do this on my own. He is going to have to carry me.


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