Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Time has a way of flying by, and I can't seem to catch up.

I am feeling better. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. It took a few days for me to settle down and let God handle everything. Nick has been fine so far.

Keith had his blood counts checked yesterday morning (Monday, 5/19). His counts are rebounding nicely and he did not need any shots to boost him up before we leave on vacation. That was wonderful news to hear. Keith's blood counts have been so abused by the four years of chemo. It doesn't take much to drag him down.

My thoughts are all over the place tonight. We are in the final stages of the vacation packing. I am so looking forward to this trip. We are going to the beach.

The beach is probably my most favorite place in the world. I feel like I can breathe when I'm there. It is also a worshipful experience for me. My favorite thing to do when we are there is to go down to the beach at night. I'll just sit and let the night envelope me. All I hear is the ocean. All I see are the stars. I feel so close to God at that moment. It is almost like my soul takes a big breath of fresh air. I'm excited just in anticipation of it.

I am trying not to worry about what we will come home to. Keith will have CT scans two days after we come home. We will get the results a couple of days later. I am afraid of what we will hear. I know that we are close to hearing that there will be no more treatment, unless God has chosen to intervene with healing. Some days, I'm strong and I know we'll handle it. Other days, I'm weak and want to bury my head. It's hard.

A couple of days after we find out about Keith, Nick will have a bunch of scans to see how his cancer is progressing. So, I guess we'll find out about both of their diagnoses in the same week. Two years ago, Keith was diagnosed with cancer for the third time and Nick was diagnosed with PTLD/lymphoma all in the same week. That was hard too. I don't know how we managed, except that God carried us. I know He will again. I'm just not ready to face it.

Please pray for travel mercies, everyone to stay well, and for rest.

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