I don't know what to say about life right now, except that it really, really stinks. That is the plain old truth. There are so many times during each day when I have to convince myself that this really is my life. This really is the life of my children. This is the life that we have been given.
I don't know what to think about life anymore. I can only go by what I know. What I know right now is that God is still omniscient and omnipresent. He is still the Soon Coming King. He is the same as He was yesterday. He is the same that He was today. He is the same that He will be tomorrow.
How does that apply to what is happening in my life right now?! Right this minute?! It applies when I receive emails from brothers and sisters in Christ who are lifting us all up in prayer. Knowing that even though I am physically very alone, the prayers let me know that I am not spiritually alone.
The Bible says that as children of God, we are never alone. God is with us throughout each and every storm of life. He is with us in the calm times. He is with us constantly.
If I chose not to believe that...If I chose not to believe that there are not people truly lifting us up and standing in the gap for us spiritually...If I chose to let go of any belief in God, His Son, His goodness, grace and mercy...
I would truly be alone.
I don't have my spouse standing beside me anymore. I have to face the sometimes very long, lonely nights. I have to face parenting without a balance. I have to face my son's battle with cancer without someone who loves that child exactly the same way I do.
If I chose not to have faith in God, to have a deep rooted belief in God, I would not have a reason to continue to get up every day. I would not have a reason to believe that there is a better life coming soon and very soon. I would not KNOW that I will see my husband again one day.
So, I choose to believe. I choose to have faith, even when it would seem easier to just let go of it. I choose to let Christ be MY Lord and Savior. I choose to stand for what I believe, without apology. I choose to get out of bed each and every day, to continue living this life that stinks right now, to continue trying to learn how to live without my husband, to continue to raise up these children to be God fearing and God loving adults.
I choose Jesus. I choose God. I choose eternal life. I choose.
That's the truth and nothing but the truth...at least the way I see it.