Ok...I'm going to get the whining out of the way first. My blog. I can whine if I want to.
I can not stand Valentine's Day anymore. I absolutely can not stand to watch the commercials about how diamonds, candy, or flowers is going to declare how much love one person holds for another. Don't get me wrong. I loved Valentine's Day when Keith was alive and well. OH! Did you catch that one...alive AND well. Yep. I am realizing that Valentine's Day pretty much stunk while Keith was sick. He didn't want to be out in the crowds, so we didn't go out on the day. We went out either before or after, which now seems like just another day out. Yep! There's another one...DAY OUT. We didn't take many date nights. It just wasn't possible sometimes. We went out together during the day while the kids were at school. It was nice, but it wasn't the same.
I do have some of the most beautiful words written from Keith's heart to remind me of his love for me. I cherish these. I hurt because I won't ever have another one.
So...tomorrow I will try not to think about what I no longer have, but try to remember what I had and have still. I will try not to scream at some last minute nincompoop who forgot about Valentine's Day and is scrambling to buy something to prove that love exists. I will try not to scream at him/her to take these special moments more seriously because there will be a day when there are not any more moments. I will try to contain myself around copious displays of affection and try not to scream "get a room."
I will try to just get through tomorrow, because I have to.
That might have been all the whining and venting. Hmm...we'll see.
Tonight in evening worship, Pastor preached on Paul's last letter to the Colossians. I truly felt like God was trying to get my attention when the sermon turned toward perseverance.
Perseverance is mentioned many times in the New Testament:
James 1:3-4 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
James 5:11 As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
These are just a few of the many. The one referenced in Pastor's sermon was James 1:12. It really caught my attention for a couple of reasons.
1. I have it marked as one of my favorite verses.
2. The verse really hits home within my heart right now.
All of the above verses touch my heart. They serve as a reminder that God knows that I am under a huge amount of stress. He knows that I am trying to persevere under trial. He knows that I don't give up, because I love him and my children. The verses also serve to remind me that, while I don't understand the why's and what for's of everything that has happened and is happening in my family's life, the Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
There will be a heavenly reward for persevering through the trials. We are going through the refining fires. God will see us through and he will use it all for HIS GOOD.
As I close this out, all I can think about is HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!
Don't let tomorrow be the only day you tell your loved one how much he/she means to you. Make it a daily habit, because one day there won't be anymore chances.