Well, it has been a few days since I have met with my family doctor to discuss the place that I am in mentally, emotionally, and physically. I have not been in a good place regarding any of these.
My doctor and counselor both agree that I am indeed suffering from depression. I have been given some medicine to take to hopefully help bring me out of this. I have been assured and reassured that this is a perfectly normal response to losing a spouse.
My doctor and counselor also agree that I am exhausted. I haven't been sleeping very much for a very long time. The doctor also gave me some medicine to help me sleep.
Hopefully, between the two new medications, I can begin to feel like myself and heal.
I have also been assured that this is no quick fix. It will take time and effort on my part, as well as theirs.
There is so much more that I want to say, but I'm not going to tonight. This is still very new to me. I'm not used to being the one that is sick. I'm not used to feeling so fragile. I'm not used to being on the "list" and I'm finding out that I HAVE to be on the list. I have a lot to learn for me to heal.
Thank you for covering me in prayer. I will say that the last few weeks have been some of the most difficult of my life. This last week has been extremely difficult, yet eye opening. God is at work with me. He is letting me know, in some very tangible ways, that He is not going to leave me in this pit of despair.
I know that I am in His grip, especially when I am in the valley of the shadow of death!
Please keep praying!