Monday, June 23, 2008

Whew!

What a whirlwind summer this has been so far! I think we have been busier this year than in most years. Maybe that is a good thing. I think I can safely use that as an indicator that our life has settled down a bit.

The last couple of weeks have been spent either in preparation for Vacation Bible School or in Vacation Bible School. I taught the 1st & 2nd grade this year. It was a wonderful experience. I am glad it is finished, because I am tired.

Keith began chemo again today. He was feeling pretty wiped out when I got him home. He said he is feeling some better now. I think food and a nap helped. He seemed to have a little bit of a hard time this morning. I think he had a more difficult time getting motivated today. I certainly don't blame him. We are looking at 4 1/2 years of almost nonstop chemo. That is such a long time. Sometimes I wonder how much longer Keith can withstand all this. He is such a strong man.

One of the most difficult things I had to deal with when Keith was diagnosed was the feeling that I was standing alone. Keith had always been my rock when we were dealing with Nick's cancer, various treatments, and surgeries. When Nick was taken away from us in that long, dark walkway the night of his transplant, I completely fell apart. Keith was right there to pick me up and help me put myself back together. Keith's diagnosis made me feel like I no longer had my rock to lean on. How could I get through this without leaning on Keith? Was I strong enough to be his rock?

It took longer than it should have, but I did learn a very valuable lesson. I was never alone! God was with me every step of the way. It's one thing to know it with your head, but it is entirely different with the heart. I do believe that is a lesson I would not have learned in any other way. There have been nights when I couldn't sleep. The heartache was so completely consuming, and I couldn't do anything except cry. On those nights, I have felt so close to God. I wonder if I would have been able to sense that without all of this happening with Keith. Only God knows.

We are doing okay I guess. I think right now we are all tired. Kacie keeps asking if she can sleep late in the morning. I know how she feels. We are planning on doing just that in the morning. Next week will be another week of some busy-ness. Nick will be back in Birmingham on Tuesday, 7/1, for another checkup. The kids want to go do something fun. They're hinting at going to Alabama Adventures. We might do that. We'll need to take a look at the budget and see if there is room. We'll be spending some time with Keith's family over the July 4th weekend.

At least most of our tiredness is from doing a few "normal" things, and NOT being in the hospital or doctor's office all the time.

Until next time, keep praying!

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