Sunday, December 5, 2010

Another second

Today would have been Keith's 40th birthday. Two years ago, I had the privilege and honor to give Keith a fantastic 38th birthday party. I could not have gotten it done without some very special friends. Keith wanted to wait until he was 40 to have this bash. We did know at the time that Keith's health was slowly deteriorating, but certainly did not expect that his death would be months away. At the end of the party, Keith decided that he wanted to have a birthday party every year until he turned 40. I realized today that he has gotten his wish. He has had the most amazing party with the Heavenly Father.

The kids and I decided not to go to the cemetery today. I need to go out there sometime soon just to check on things. I haven't been a long while. I didn't (and don't) push the kids to go. They understand completely that their dad is not there.

We celebrated Keith by going out to a nice lunch where we planned on having dessert first. Keith loved dessert. The dessert first didn't happen though. The restaurant no longer served the dessert the kids wanted. So, we ordered an appetizer, ate our meal, and went to Krispy Kreme for a dozen doughnuts. That got me cool points as a mom.

Overall, it hasn't been the most difficult day. It has been a day of remembrance, some sorrow, some grief, some happiness, lots of praise.

I sang in the choir's Christmas musical today. I found out that it was planned for this day on my very first practice with the choir of our new church. I really struggled with the decision to commit to singing in a big musical on Keith's birthday. After praying and really thinking about it, I decided to go ahead and commit. It's what Keith would have wanted me to do. It's what I would have done had he been alive. It is something that I truly love. I love being able to worship my Lord and Savior through song.

I am so glad that I made the decision to sing. I felt so full of praise for God this morning singing about the birth of Christ and what He did for us. The love that I feel for my Heavenly Father overflowed. I was able to praise God today, on Keith's 40th birthday, because Keith is with the One who loved him more than his family. That tops any earthly birthday present I could have come up with.

Happy birthday Keith! We love you and miss you!

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