Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas

I hope this finds everyone well this Christmas.

The kids have had a wonderful Christmas. I have too, I guess. Kacie has said it would be the best Christmas ever if her dad were here. What does a mom say to that? I just hugged her and said I know.

We've had a very quiet day today. It's just been the three of us. Mom is at home on day 4 of the flu. Christmas with her has been postponed. We went for dinner at my sister's house yesterday. Keith's parents came over on Thursday and we did Christmas then. That was mainly just in case the weather was bad today, and my presents for the kids went with theirs.

We got a wonderful, very rare white Christmas in Alabama this year. At my house, we probably got about 4 inches of snow. It has been a beautiful sight. When I was a kid and we lived in west Tennessee, white Christmases happened at least a couple of times. We usually had snow every winter. It has been a long time since I have seen this heavy, wet, perfect for snowballs kind of snow. That is a wonderful Christmas gift.

I am glad that the day is almost over. I have had to work really hard to make myself do even the smallest Christmas activity this season. I have to say that this year has been more difficult for me than last year. Last year, I wanted (needed) to make Christmas special for us. This year, I just want it to be over. I don't have to make it through a whole year of firsts anymore. I don't have to wonder what it's going to be like. I'm not in shock anymore.

I'm having to accept with each and every Christmas, Kacie and Nick will be without the one thing they want the most...their dad. It's the one gift that I can't give them. I would if I could...

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