I've had to do that several times during the last few days.
I got a call from Birmingham on Friday. The surgeon wants CT scans of Nick's veins in his neck and chest in order to make a plan for the port removal/replacement.
This isn't standard operating procedure. Well, at least not one we've encountered before. Maybe it is when someone like Nick has had several central IV lines in the past. Maybe the surgeon has looked back at the last time a port was taken out and saw the details of the nightmare that minor procedure became. There are a lot of maybes...
I was truly filled with the peace that passes ALL understanding...until Friday's phone call. The doubts and fear came flooding in. I've had to dig deep to find that peace again.
I've had to decide to "doubt the doubter", as Keith used to say. Just tell old Satan, "I doubt that!" Then let that be it.
This morning's sermon at church was exactly what I needed to hear. It was based on the Scripture in Acts 12, where Peter was freed from his chains by an angel of God. I love that story. It's one of my favorites.
Pastor went on to say that God is so sovereign that He doesn't have to explain why He allows bad things to happen when He has the power to stop them. God doesn't cause bad things to happen, but sometimes He lets them happen.
Boy that's hard to swallow! I know sometimes I want to make God out to be the bad guy. I ask why, whine, complain, and think that the day I kneel before Him I will get the answers I crave.
That thinking is so warped! That isn't it at all. In everything I've read about Heaven and what happens after earthly death, nothing even comes close to indicating a Q & A session with God is going to take place.
I'm not saying that I think any human is insignificant to God. What I believe is that when a believer kneels before the Heavenly Father, all things earthly completely drop away. Everything that was consuming while on earth, no longer matters. All that matters is worshipping the King of Kings...the Great I AM.
That's it. Nothing more...nothing less.