Saturday, August 6, 2011

Changes, changes, and more changes

It is certainly an understatement that my family has been through a lot of change during the last several months...uh, years. I can't believe we have begun the journey of our third year without Keith!!!

One of the biggest changes in our home has been in the last couple of weeks. I decided for many reasons to go ahead and get some work done on the inside of the house. These are all changes that Keith and I talked about doing, but never got around to. My bedroom has been redone. Nick's room is redone. Kacie's room is almost finished.

Her bedroom is what led me to write tonight. I let the kids pick out the new color/theme for their rooms. Nick chose Alabama Crimson Tide. No surprised there. He has one wall that is crimson red. It is the wall where his closet is at so it's only an accent type thing. The other three walls are gray. The trim is white. He already had Alabama bedding and other stuff. He also has the wonderful gift of framed Crimson Tide art work. His bedroom is finished and it is AWESOME!!!! He is thrilled.

Kacie chose the color Sassy Lilac. It is definitely in the purple family. It is a totally preteen girl color. Today was paint Kacie's room day. I haven't had any sadness painting...until today. When I began working in Nick's room, I was remembering when I painted it the first time. Nick was five or six. I had no grief issues. None. When I woke up this morning, I was immediately met with some sadness. Going along with my tools for grief recovery, I thought for a minute about why I was sad. I realized that today I would be painting over the "baby" paint that Keith put on while I was expecting Kacie. Keith and a family friend painted that room. We decided on light green because we didn't know if the baby was a Kacie or a Christopher. I was banned from the room. No painting for the pregnant lady.

This morning I was sad to be painting over something that Keith did with such love for not only this little life, but out of love for me. It was our first place to live that we could paint the walls. It was the first room in this house to be painted. I wanted it to be a nursery. He made that happen.

I let myself feel sad about letting that go. I still have the memories. I also have a baby that was a Kacie and is now 11 1/2 years old. She is starting middle school in about 9 days. She needs to have a room that is no longer a nursery color. I realized that this painting would have been done if Keith were alive and well.

I mainly realized that this was another necessary change for the three of us to continue on through this phase of our life without Keith.

So...I got out of bed and got started on transforming Kacie's room. My mom came to help me. We knocked it out in just a few hours.

Kacie's room looks great! Once the new floor is down and the furniture rearranged, it will look even better.

The smile on her face when she saw the finished walls was worth every thing! She is so excited!

I am loving the changes I've made in my bedroom. The walls are a subtle lilac. I know, us girls have a thing for purple! I've accented with eggplant. It's very soothing. I love it.

Life is so full of changes: from kids growing up to losing a spouse and everything in between.

Change is necessary. Change is inevitable. Sometimes, change is even good.

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